


Let It Out

by arrafrost



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Hugs for Derek on Tuesday, M/M, Pre-Slash, Spoilers for Episode: s03e08 Visionary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-23
Updated: 2013-07-23
Packaged: 2017-12-21 02:43:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/894863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arrafrost/pseuds/arrafrost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You gonna ask Derek about the girl he fell in love with… and then killed?”</p><p>“If I have to… yeah.”</p><p>That’s what he said to Cora after story time with Peter, the most depressing story time ever at that… not to mention the various times Stiles questioned how reliable of a source dear old uncle Peter was. However, the actual asking part… yeah that was a bit trickier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let It Out

“You gonna ask Derek about the girl he fell in love with… and then killed?”

“If I have to… yeah.”

That’s what he said to Cora after story time with Peter, the most depressing story time ever at that… not to mention the various times Stiles questioned how reliable of a source dear old uncle Peter was. However, the actual asking part… yeah that was a bit trickier.

When Derek came back, he was quiet, he kept to himself, his gaze barely flickered over to where Stiles was sitting on the couch playing cards with Cora.

The alpha walked up the stairs to his room and Stiles heard the door click behind him. When he looked back from following Derek with his eyes, Cora was staring directly at him with a brow raised in question or challenge – it was hard to tell with the Hales really.

Stiles sighed, closing his eyes and ducking his head. He flung the cards from his hand, admitting defeat in the card game and pushed himself up off the couch.

He knew Derek would hear him climbing the stairs, if he was listening or if he even cared that is. But that didn’t stop Stiles was walking up them or trying to walk lighter. When he got to Derek’s door, he breathed in and knocked.

“Derek.” Stiles called, resting his head against the door, “Come on, man. Let me in. You’ve been on your own for too long time for some socialization.”

“I don’t want to socialize with you, Stiles.” Derek snapped back, but it lacked sharpness, he was too tired to be genuinely angry which Stiles filed under potentially useful for what I’m about to bring up.

“Everyone wants to socialize with me. Whatever’s on your mind, dude, I can listen.”

“Sounds more like you want to talk to me.”

Stiles cursed inwardly, Derek… always alert even when he was in mourning. “I have some… things to discuss with you yes.”

“Yes, I find you attractive are we done with socializing?”

“Have you been talking to Danny?” Stiles couldn’t help but smirk though. At the very least he was getting some humor from the alpha. “Wait, do you actually find me attractive or are you- you know what, that’s not important right now but can we stick a bookmark on that for later?”

There was a short silence before Derek finally mumbled, “No.”

 _Figures_ , Stiles snorted and rolled his eyes, hand moving to the door knob.

“Didn’t say ‘come in’, Stiles.”

“I know but I… thought I’d take the incentive?”

“You’re a worse pain in my ass than Cora used to be.”

“ _Hey!_ ” Cora shouted from downstairs and they both laughed.

Stiles took the opportunity to twist the door knob and push it open. There was no further protest. Just Derek sitting on his bed, staring at the door with solemn eyes and a downturned face. His hands were folded in his lap as he frowned at Stiles.

“Hey there, big bad alpha. How was your solitude?”

Derek’s brow quirked but he continued to frown, a vague hint of a glare in his eyes now.

“Right. Not discussing that.” Stiles closed the door and backed against it, leaning as comfortably as he could while giving Derek some distance. He could give him that much after invading his space when he wasn’t wanted.

“What do you want, Stiles?”

Stiles sighed loudly and shut his eyes tightly. He may as well get straight to the point. It was going to hurt either way.

“Tell me about Paige.”

Derek tensed immediately. Every muscle in his body flexing and his eyes glowed a threatening red, fangs peeking out from his twitching lips. Everything about Derek’s immediate rage along with the heartbreaking sadness Stiles could see in his eyes behind the anger told him he really didn’t want to be in this room right now. But he was. This was it. He had to do it.

“Derek, I’m sorry. I am  _so_  sorry but we need-“

“You need to leave.”

“I need to ask-“

“Stiles. Go.”

“Derek. No. I have to-“

Derek stood up from the bed, his entire body looking five times larger than it normally did from how incredibly intimidating he was right now and Stiles fought the urge to shrink against the door. His heart was beating wildly, horribly afraid and Derek would be able to smell it on him, but his face was calm… he was completely composed on the outside. That was one of Stiles’ charms.

“Derek. I am sorry. I am. I don’t have the right to ask you about her-“

“You don’t.” Derek growled but Stiles pushed on.

“But there are things that happened with-“

“How could you possibly understand, Stiles? How could know what happened with P… with her.”

Stiles’ eyes softened, sympathy written all over his face despite how much that wouldn’t calm Derek down. “Peter told us.”

“Us?”

“Cora and I. We had to know about your eyes.”

Derek growled lowly, eyes still glowing a dark red.

“I remembered you had blue eyes… they always intrigued me. Why you had blue and everyone else had yellow.” Stiles shook his head, refusing to get caught up with his feelings, “And Peter told us other things about what happened-“

“What happened is none of your business.”

“Maybe not, but it’s the pack’s business. With what’s happening… there’s-“

“Stiles stop asking me questions about this. It is no one’s  _fucking_ business what happened. Not even Peter as much as he might like to think. No one, okay. No one.”

Stiles exhaled slowly, eyes connecting with Derek’s. His eyes were faltering, flashing from red back to his normal greenish hazel that Stiles had come to know so well from sneaking the occasional glance. He watched as Derek started to tremble and not simply from rage.

“Derek…”

“Go away, Stiles.”

“How long are you going to let this eat away at you, Derek?” Stiles’ voice was soft as he stepped forward and Derek bared his teeth, eyes returning to the bright red and threatening Stiles to a standstill.

“Have you ever opened up about it? Taken the time to cry even?”

Derek shook his head, averting his gaze momentarily. His resolve was wavering, Stiles could see it. He knew what this was like… he remembered how long he kept how he felt about his mother locked away inside. He never really cried about it, not for years. He had no one to talk to about it. Not his father who drowned his grieving with a bottle… for so many years Stiles believed that his father blamed him for his mother’s death. And by the time he met Scott, Stiles had already learned how to effectively bottle his emotions save for his panic attacks.

“Derek it wasn’t your-“

“Don’t say that.” Derek snapped, eyes instantly flicking up to hold Stiles’ gaze. “Don’t you dare say that.”

Stiles closed his mouth, swallowing the words that Derek didn’t want to hear. Of course… Stiles hadn’t wanted to hear those words either. He still didn’t even know he knew now that it wasn’t his fault.

“Derek…”

“No. Stiles. Go home.” Derek growled, clenching his fists at his sides. Stiles’ eyes glanced down quickly, noting the blood that Derek was drawing from his own palms.

“I don’t think it was your fault.” Stiles whispered, stepping closer. “No matter what happened-“

“Don’t-“

“I wasn’t there and I can’t judge. And I am so sorry for what happened, Derek. I am. But I don’t think it was-“

“Shut up!” Derek snarled, stepping back as Stiles advanced on him. He was blinking fast, barely able to focus on Stiles because of how wet his eyes were getting. Stiles could see it, with eyes locked on Derek’s face, he knew he was close to breaking.

“It wasn’t. Okay. It wasn’t.” Stiles closed in on his space and he reached forward, drawing himself up to full height, and gripped Derek’s shoulders.

Derek shook immediately, trying half-heartedly to wrench himself free as Stiles’ arms wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him into an embrace. Derek pushed at Stiles chest and Stiles’ hissed at the claws that dug into his skin from the contact but he didn’t let go. He followed Derek as he continued to step back, trying to pull himself away from the boy but Stiles wouldn’t let go and he knew Derek was done fighting. He knew from the moment Derek let him touch him that he was tired of fighting.

They backed into the wall and Stiles circled his arms around him into a tighter embrace, one hand sliding up to card his fingers through Derek’s hair and hold him close. Blunt fingers gripped Stiles’ ripped shirt, twisting the fabric firmly in his hands as his face dropped onto Stiles’ shoulder.

Stiles held him as the alpha shook and soaked the shoulder of his shirt with salty tears, stroking a hand down his neck. He didn’t say anything else. Stiles let Derek tug at his shirt and wipe his eyes on his shirt and all he did was hold him through it all, refusing to let Derek go and deal with this on his own. He didn’t ask him anymore questions that night either. Derek needed this moment to let go, not to be pressured into anything else, and Stiles sat with him for the rest of the evening to make sure that Derek had this moment. 

**Author's Note:**

> for more angst and hugs on Tuesday find me on [tumblr](http://arrafrost.tumblr.com)


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